No Candy Mountain ⇒ w/ hardcoresenior

[hardcoresenior]

[There is a reason why you don't let granddaughters sneak around old meat factories only to have her call you frantically on her phone about being stuck in the back of a truck with some crazy man. Said crazy man has had a weird aura around his eyes. Obviously, this would make sixty-two year old grandmother, Sandy Lenora Viers hideously furious.

Thankfully, Leona had sent her two texts- one with the address of the farm she's in and two another address leading to a bookshop...]

look for the wizard

tell him its me and ask 4 help pls hurry i dont like this place!!

im okay but get help theres something in the barn i think it eats people

[Sandy does not have time to mess around, but despite her granddaughter's penchant for getting in trouble with the supernatural, she also had a penchant for getting the right kind of help from them. And lord knows, Sandy's going to get this wizard to help save her baby girl or heaven help us.

So here, have a sharp-eyed and surprisingly not that wizened elderly slamming the door open to the magical book shop.

She doesn't look like she wants to joke right now.]

Comments

[animated]

... She says it's a unicorn?

Better step on it- I think we're running out of time.

[hardcoresenior]

Unicorns eat people? For goodness sakes, it just gets more ridiculous each and every time--!!

[And stepping on it and there's a barn in sight, devoid of any life- grass is overgrown and basically it's uncared for.]

[animated]

Not usually!

We should split up. It might remember that she had one other person with her, but we need to keep the element of surprise.

[hardcoresenior]

They're supposed to be nice aren't they?

[PING.

omg of all times to be a virgin HURRY WHERE R U]

... She'll thank me one day.

[Parking somewhere behind a cluster of trees and hopping out of the truck]

[animated]

Weirder things have happened.

[ He eyes the barn- looks like there's a hayloft ]

You wanna take the hayloft or the front door?

[hardcoresenior]

[Grabbing something from the trunk...

KCHK.

My that is a large shotgun]

Ask her where she is first.

[animated]

[ note to self, don't make grandma mad

also texting: ]

where r u

[hardcoresenior]

[in the barn 2nd story

horses cant climb its gone b careful

There's something rustling in the bushes far away, but Sandy's keeping an eye out]

[animated]

She's up top. Looks like the unicorn is gone.

[ his eyes flick to the rustling bushes ] Unless that's it.

[hardcoresenior]

You go get her, I'll keep your back covered. I'm not letting that bastard near her if it's the last thing I do.

[animated]

Right. ... Be careful.

[ He moves to the outside entrance to the hayloft. He sketches out a quick rune,and a nearby rope uncoils like a snake, hoisting him up. ]

Leona?

[nightcharm]

Oh my god!

[Leona's backed up against the wall at his sudden appearance. She hasn't slept a wink, lips are dry, there's some scratches, but otherwise it's a miracle she's unscathed]

You... you actually came! Where's Sandy!?

[animated]

Come here, honey. [ he holds out a hand to her, ready to pull her into an embrace. Poor girl looks like she could use a hug ]

She's on the ground, waiting for us. Let's get you out of here.

[nightcharm]

[Accepting the hand and the hug, the barn was too dark and musty and she was scared as hell]

The unicorn- it's actually physically weak so that's why it wanted to eat me. Virgins are extra healthy apparently. It needs strength, but yeah, like hell I'm becoming dinner.

[animated]

Like hell I'm gonna let you become dinner.

Let's get out of here, okay?

[nightcharm]

Right.

... Could we find out where it came from though? We gotta make sure there's no more man-eating unicorns around just in case.

[animated]

... Let's take this one step at the time and get down to the ground first, okay?

[ Charlie keeps a hold of her with one arm, while the rope moves like a snake and coils itself around his free one. Slowly, it lowers them back to the ground. Once there, all life goes out of the rope, and it just hangs slack. ]

[nightcharm]

[She dusts some strands of straw off of her clothes and hair]

Sorry about getting you involved in this... I panicked and I suddenly thought of you. I didn't want Sandy to go in alone.

[animated]

It's fine I... I'm glad you thought of me. [ No one ever thinks of him. Well, except for maybe Jacob and Kara.

But he does quirk a brow ] Do you always call your grandmother by her first name?

[nightcharm]

[Grins.] We have an understanding. I get to use grandma if I want though.

[animated]

I guess it is not mine to ask why.

[ Starts heading back to where he left Sandy! ]

[nightcharm]

It's another story to tell-

[There's a loud galloping of hooves that's getting nearer and nearer and then an even louder shotgun blast and a pain whinny]

Oh god, I can't tell if that's good or not.

[animated]

Shit. Come on.

[ grabbing her by the hand and running off to see what happened! ]

[hardcoresenior]

[Outside these two will encounter:

One tough grandma with a shotgun parrying with

One farmer with an axe being mind controlled by

One black unicorn with a fairly long horn protruding out of it's head and bleeding profusely on the ground and kicking its hind legs in pain since it was shot in the ribs.]

Took you two long enough!

[animated]

[ Charlie reaches inside of his coat, producing one of a number of impressively sharp throwing knives. He doesn't want to kill the farmer, but he might be able to incapacitate him.

He should just kill the unicorn, ending its control, but Leona was right- they should find out where it came from.

He lets the knife fly at the farmer, instead. Or rather, the tendon in the back of the farmer's knee. ]