No Candy Mountain ⇒ w/ hardcoresenior

[hardcoresenior]

[There is a reason why you don't let granddaughters sneak around old meat factories only to have her call you frantically on her phone about being stuck in the back of a truck with some crazy man. Said crazy man has had a weird aura around his eyes. Obviously, this would make sixty-two year old grandmother, Sandy Lenora Viers hideously furious.

Thankfully, Leona had sent her two texts- one with the address of the farm she's in and two another address leading to a bookshop...]

look for the wizard

tell him its me and ask 4 help pls hurry i dont like this place!!

im okay but get help theres something in the barn i think it eats people

[Sandy does not have time to mess around, but despite her granddaughter's penchant for getting in trouble with the supernatural, she also had a penchant for getting the right kind of help from them. And lord knows, Sandy's going to get this wizard to help save her baby girl or heaven help us.

So here, have a sharp-eyed and surprisingly not that wizened elderly slamming the door open to the magical book shop.

She doesn't look like she wants to joke right now.]

Comments

[hardcoresenior]

Right. You saw how it catches the blue glow around things that aren't normal right? We don't know if it's his eyes specifically though.

[animated]

Could be some kind of possession. Eyes are windows to the soul, as they say.

[hardcoresenior]

Could be, but then we could usually find the outline of a ghost attached to a person. Probably something long distance?

[animated]

I would bet almost anything that it's the thing in the barn- whatever it may be- that's got him.

[hardcoresenior]

God dammit! [As she mutters this under her breath, the phone pings- a new text]

What's it say?

[lots of chicken bones and prk

oh ew theres a whole cow in here flies ewewewewewew]

[animated]

[ He reads the text back to her, frowning a bit ]

Okay clearly something in there is eating all the other things in there.

What I want to know is... why let her keep her phone? It this creature just stupid or overconfident?

[hardcoresenior]

Probably doesn't know what a phone is. And if it's been trying to get food then of course it's too stupid to think a phone is that much of a problem.

It's probably saving her for later as well.

[animated]

I guess we come up with a plan, then. Unless you're the type to run in, proverbial guns blazing.

[hardcoresenior]

What tipped you off?

[animated]

Call it wizard's intuition.

... And the part where you came barging through my front door.

[hardcoresenior]

Give me some credit.

I didn't barge in with the shotgun.

[animated]

You have a shotgun.

... Okay, sure. Why not?

[hardcoresenior]

My husband was a practical man.

[animated]

As long as I'm never on the business end of one of those shotguns, by all means, tote around a shotgun.

[hardcoresenior]

Leona knows how to use one too.

God, I knew I should have told her to carry one around.

[Except she isn't supposed too... gun laws and all lol]

[animated]

She's just a kid. She can't just go around with a shotgun slung over one shoulder.

[hardcoresenior]

I know that.

[And there's beginning to be less and less buildings and more grass and fields]

[animated]

How much further?

[hardcoresenior]

Should be almost there-

[And another text!

Are unicorns supposed to be mean

where r you it sounds hungry and the farmer keeps arguing w/ it]

[animated]

... She says it's a unicorn?

Better step on it- I think we're running out of time.

[hardcoresenior]

Unicorns eat people? For goodness sakes, it just gets more ridiculous each and every time--!!

[And stepping on it and there's a barn in sight, devoid of any life- grass is overgrown and basically it's uncared for.]

[animated]

Not usually!

We should split up. It might remember that she had one other person with her, but we need to keep the element of surprise.

[hardcoresenior]

They're supposed to be nice aren't they?

[PING.

omg of all times to be a virgin HURRY WHERE R U]

... She'll thank me one day.

[Parking somewhere behind a cluster of trees and hopping out of the truck]

[animated]

Weirder things have happened.

[ He eyes the barn- looks like there's a hayloft ]

You wanna take the hayloft or the front door?

[hardcoresenior]

[Grabbing something from the trunk...

KCHK.

My that is a large shotgun]

Ask her where she is first.